Do It Herself: The Toolkit

My family is big on practical gifts. Each Christmas my Gramma gets me a big box filled with necessities, things like toilet paper, toothpaste, tinfoil, cans of soup, crackers, chapstick, cleaning products…you get the point. (I’ve finally figured out in the past couple years that if I give her the list of products I prefer a couple months before the holidays, things work out pretty nice for me, and I don’t have to buy much of anything until at least June. Which is when my birthday is, so that’s pretty neat…)

So, we’re that family. The family that buys Mom a spatula every year because inevitably my father/brother/sister has lost all of them/broke them/left them outside and the dogs chew on them. The family that buys Dad new wrenches for his birthday because his are lost somewhere in the hayfield from last August when he was fixing the baler and didn’t put them back on the tractor. One Easter I found underwear hidden in the eggs during the egg hunt. I have very unrealistic expectations from Easter eggs to this day.

One of the most practical gifts of all time came when I was in second grade. I think, probably second. About that time-ish. Let’s just all agree it was second grade. It was a toolkit. A “Do-It Herself Toolkit” to be exact. And because my parents didn’t buy into the whole gender-roles thing, it was BLUE. It had a hammer, a mini screwdriver set (which came in very handy during my clarinet playing years), a regular size screwdriver set, a needle-nose and regular pliers, a crescent wrench, a tape measure, miscellaneous fasteners (lame, still haven’t used those), and three other cool things that Mom thought I would do too much damage with: a scissors, a chalk line, and an exacto knife. Why she let me keep the hammer and not the scissors, I will never ever know. The chalk line I entirely understand.

99 pc. Minus 3.

At the time, I thought it was cool. There were things I needed tools for. Things like building birdhouses and breaking my brother’s stuff, and just basic carrying-around so I looked like I was being helpful. However, these tools have come in unbelievably handy over the years. Example: today, I used my hammer to put up a shelf, and a screwdriver to fix my chair that I tripped over when I was trying to sweep but didn’t want to actually pull the chairs out from the table and sweep under it but attempted to sweep around it…then--trip. The fall happened in more time than it took you to read that. An oh-no…uh oh…this might…wait…oh, crap..yep…shit…this is going to fall and I’m going with it kind of fall.

That practical gift has more than paid for itself. Especially because the name “Do It Herself Toolkit” makes me giggle out loud every time I see it, (hehehehe, seriously. Do It Herself.) but I that little toolkit comes in handy on a weekly basis. (Crap. Now I feel the need to type “That’s what she said” after every sentence about the toolkit.) The chalk line and scissors would be nice though. Mom broke the scissors. Or maybe it was brother. It was probably him. I’ve since bought other scissors, but they don’t match the set. The chalk line…well, Mom said she lost that. (I’m sure she’s kept them for herself. I still could do some serious damage with that.)

So thank you parents. Thank you for the year that you got my brother a Barbie and dress up clothes and me a toolkit. Thank you for practical gifts. This year I wish for a kitchen aid mixer, a serger for my sewing room, a pet monkey and new vacuum. Those are all very practical.