Last weekend was SO exciting. So exciting in fact, that I spent the whole week recovering from it. So exciting that I couldn't even describe it.

Or, I just didn't feel like typing it.

It involved these things: friendship from the QCA folk, my mom, one of my favorite movies in stage format, Harry Potter, day drinking, doggies, more day drinking, more HP, sushi, cosmos and wine, Modern Family, night frights from friends, a corn maze, a naked golden statue, a corn maze, mailboxes in the maze, and a one pound hamburger (the gunderburger).

I did all of those things. Seriously. It was just great. I must, however, describe to you the one pound hamburger.

My friend Jenna and I first went to the corn maze. Excuse me, the Maize Maze. :) Which might have been a great choice, because I don't think I would have survived a post burger maze.

Goldie Sicurash in the Maize Maze. Jenna and I won her. At a dance competition.

We get to the Irish Shanty at about 4:30 p.m. We walk in. We get beer. We (for like, three seconds, ok? Barely even counts) contemplate getting one gunderburger. Yes, we came to our senses very quickly with the realization that we are strong, beautiful, intelligent women. We can eat one freakin pound of meat. No problem.

So. Much. Meat.

Our waitress was totally impressed with us. (several minutes later). The gunderburgers arrive. The plate is mostly meat. No matter. We've got this. The burgers--deeeeelish. Seriously. Great. A quarter of the way through, we're making great time. We feel like we have set a nice pace. Halfway through....things slowed down a bit. Realizing that if we slow down, we won't make it through, we decided to plow on through a little quicker. (Note: we definitely had fries to. Come on, you need a palate cleanser when you are planning on eating that much red meat!) A little over halfway through, I start sweating. Conversation dulls. I'm starting to feel a bit ill. Jenna looks at me like she is in pain. I'm sure my face says the same. At this point I put my nose to the grindstone and the blinders up and just went for it. Until the last three bites. They just sat there on my plate. Looking at me menacingly. I mean, I take pride in the fact that I know how to eat. Really eat. But never before was I in a heated sweat nearing a meat coma with a horrifying fear that one pound of ground beef was not going to stay in me. But I really REALLY really wanted a picture in the gunderburger hat. So somehow, I still am not quite sure where exactly it fit, but somehow I got that last three ounces of beef down. (Yes, yes, I know, that's what she said.) I swelled with pride at my accomplishment, and Jenna was right behind me. Ok, maybe the swelling wasn't so much pride as much as an excess of meat. (For real though, one of the most delicious burgers  I have ever had. Just....a lot.)

I put my game face on for this picture. There is a one pound burger, fries and beer in my belly.

The waitress asked if we wanted dessert. The thought almost made me toss my burger. We rolled out of there, pants unbuttoned, each bump on the road making me question my ability to keep food in my stomach. I got home and pants off lay in a meat coma watching Parks and Rec. But I totally ate a donut at 9:30 p.m. Because a chocolate donut seemed like the only reasonable item to end the day with. Even thinking about a burger makes me a little ill, a week later. But we did it. And it was glorious. And we will never do it again.